Puck That Noise

So, this morning I get this text from a friend of a friend, who has become my friend, so I guess he is a mutual friend.....anyway...details, details.   "Hey, I just scored some free hockey tickets to the Sharks play offs, wanna go."  In which I stare at my phone for a nice 5 minutes or so, and think to myself "Sorry, I'd rather have my eyes jabbed out with two schorching hot steak knives before you get me to a HOCKEY game." I'm sorry, but Hockey is not a sport I care to watch, nor care to drag my butt down to San Jose, to go sit, and hang out with a bunch of people who just got done watching NASCAR and are pissed, and/or surprised that their favorite driver didn't win.  Those two "sports" are so ridiculous to me, I could barf.  Okay, so I didn't barf, but I felt like it.

  Like I said earlier, I used to keep stats for baseball for my high school team!  But, before that, I also kept stats for football, and I loved it even more than I loved the baseball, because football is my secret passion, and I love it.  GO Philadelphia Eagles, and go North Carolina Panthers.   I gathered two of my closest friends at the time, and said to them, hey....wanna keep stats with me for football?!  To which they were like "Okay." I pictured us on the sidelines hosing down the little sophomore boys with their water bottles, us getting to be ON the field, with the players. That, that is bad ass!!!

 I know it's not the best, but this is me, Sarah and Amber in the yearbook, sophomore year!! Go Bobcats.

The order of sports for me, is this Football Pants, Baseball Pants,  Cycling Shorts, and speedos...er..I mean swimming.  Not, Hockey bagginess, and/or sitting in a car with full on helmet and gear, and driving in circles for 6 hours.  No fucking thank you.  My ex husbands mother used to sit, and watch the T.V. while NASCAR was on, and she was watching it as though it was gonna take some crazy turn of events.  NASCAR is like The Bachelor....it's only worth watching in the last 5 minutes, that's what everyone is going to be talking about for the next week.  Otherwise, it's a bore! 

The only time I ever watched NASCAR was when Dale Earnhardt passed away, when that was all that was on T.V. for 24 hours.  That was sad, but it is after all, a sport right?!?

So, when I got this invite, I didn't want to be rude, I mean, I had already told him my disgust for this "Sport", but he still asked, and deep down that made me irritated.  But, instead, I just said, "Oh no thanks, I have plans already....remember?"   And then he made a comment like "Oh yea, you think it's just for rednecks". That's not what I said, I said something way meaner.....but whatever. He pouted for a minute, like I was gonna fling up my arms and be like "Yes...take me, I can't wait", but I didn't.  Ice skating makes me nervous anyway, I always imagine people falling, and having their fingers sliced off onto the ice, that would be awkward. 

So, while I know the Sharks or who ever are playing their little hearts out in San Jose, all I can think, is go Giants.  This weekend it's on against the Dodgers.  You better be shaking in your cleats.