Really, it's okay to start learning to say "no"

I set a minor goal for myself at the beginning of this year.  I have always been one to say "YES", to everything, all the while, in my mind really whispering "No". I hate to let people down, although I know this is inevitable, I find it disheartening.  I want to always be called on if a favor is in need, but sometimes, I have to face that--really that isn't always possible and that's okay!!

  So, a goal of mine was to start to simplify my life, and start learning how to say no nicely.  Even if I could do it, do I really want to?  It's intimidating sometimes when someone is right there in your face, or on the phone.  Can't people just text questions, it's way easier to say no over a text.  You don't have to see them be all disappointed.

About a month ago, I was asked a favor by someone, and I wanted to barter, and say  "you work my PM shift, if you want me to come in on my day off, to cover you."  In which she replied, well, why can't it just be a fair trade across....and I said, because I'm doing YOU a favor, and working on my only day off in 10 days.  I think it's only fair.  In which she replied, things can't always be just in favor of you Kerry, you have to be flexible.  And flexible I am....ask my gym coach I had for 4 years in High School.  But, I straight up said--"No." You would have thought I told her that I was going to chop her legs off and serve them to our co workers for lunch.  She was so fired up.  And starts going off on me.  And I just sat, and listened, and finally when I had my chance to talk, I just said--"Look, I am coming in an EXTRA day, on my DAY OFF, I want a favor too...it's only fair".

People aren't used to hearing me say no.  They are used to me saying..."here let me lay down, while you walk all over me, and when I get up to dust myself off and ask a favor, you won't do the same". People are used to hearing me say "Sure", "Yes", "Anything for you".  It was hard to say no the first couple of times, but now, it gets easier.

I think it was said best by Charles H. Spurgeon when he said:  "Learn to say "no", it will be more of a use to you, than to be able to read Latin".

What has been a hard goal for you to conquer?