Outside Lands 2010

 

Summer, where have you gone?  It seems like just yesterday...or the day before, that I was planning out my whole summer, and then with a big kick off at Outside Lands Festival in Golden Gate Park...and now...now it's all over! Before this Summer, Summer was my least favorite season.  crowds..the heat, the long HOT disgusting days!!!  I think its post traumatic stress after owning a tanning salon for 3 years and spending 3 Summers doing that!!  Anyway, my point is for this post...next year...if you aren't already planning on it, go to The Outside Lands.  I bought my   tickets the day they went on sale in June, not sure what to expect!!! Buuuut…it's pretty effing awesome.  Besides the overflowing port-a-potties by the end of the day on Sunday..(thanks but I'll risk a bladder infection before using that), and instead I stood outside of the port-a-potties laughing my ass off at every girl who felt the same way as me, and then those that didn't or couldn't wait I was giving them Purell...I know, I'm a Saint. But, I digress, besides those, and the really, really expensive semi-decent beer they were serving, the lineup was amazing, (Wild Beasts, Phoenix, and This Crazy MoFo were my favorites!!!) The vendors were hilarious and entertaining, and the FOOD...the FOOD was off the HOOK!! I got to revisit Farmer Brown SF via the festival, a place I went to by chance last October and was in heeeaaven! Back to my point...

Summer 2010 is almost over, but I couldn't have asked for a more fantastic time this year. I have a few more adventures in the next few weeks, but as far as this Summer goes I've made new friends, reconnected with really great people, spent a lot of time with the people I love, and started re-evaluating my life for the better.

YAY!! I’m here!!!

 

A little hula hoop with Chadikins

"Wine Lands”

    

A little trampoline action after some wine….

HAHA! A mock up Ranger, complete with a fur pelt satchel.

Gogol Bordello!! “Start Wearing Purple” LOVE HIM!

The Main Stage.

“Wild Beasts”

Amazing…check them out please and thank you!

 

You can barely see it, but the line to the outhouses…equal HORENDOUS!!

A little Al Green hip sway with Rach

Forever Friends

 

Farmer Browns “Pleasure Plate” for Rachael!!! JUMMY

Phoenix!! You can see him sitting ^

It’s a Boy!!

A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
Eda J. Le Shan

No, not for me…weirdos!! But, for our dear friends Marie and Marc!! Yay, little Cash is here.  And I’m in love with his face.  He’s seriously the most beautiful baby I’ve ever laid my eyes on.  Seriously, so amazingly perfect. I’m so proud of my friend Marie. 

“Men are what their mothers made them”.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

And this is the perfect quote for Marie, because I know that she will be an amazing mom to her little man. Now, in 10, 15, 25 years, she’ll be amazing.  Because that’s how she is.  And she invests all she has into everything she does.

She’s like family to me in this family(less) town. 

I got the news on Friday before my reunion that she would be going in, (I was on the LIST, LIST), so I waited and around 8:30 PM on July 16, 2010 he was born!! I couldn’t wait to go visit mommy and baby on Saturday before I left for my reunion.  And, I’m so glad I did.  Trisha came too, and I’m so proud of her..  Being there, after her huge loss of her baby girl just 5 months ago.  There was definitely tears between them.  I love my Napa family, the girls, the guys in their lives, and the babies that are a part of them. 

Congratulations Marie, I love you.

HAHA. Trisha…this was an attempt to not look creepy…it worked…sort of.

In love with this little baby boy!

Marie and Cash photo by Marie, she’s amazing.

…and baby makes 3

Ahh, yes folks.  It’s celebrate baby time!! It’s Summertime, and babies are making their appearance.  But, before you all get crazy, and thinking it’s me I’m talking about….puh-leaze!!  I love babies, but I can barely get my shit together, let alone have to tote a baby bag around all day, on a feeding schedule…and make small talk with other moms who have kissed  gladly said goodbye to their former lives of freedom….respectively. 

A gift for Cash.

Yumm-O.

Not listening to my own blog rule #1…tongue in mouth. But it was too good.

I digress…Saturday was my dear friend Marie’s baby shower for her little bebe, Cash!  Oh we can’t wait to meet him.  He’s surrounded by complete love and adoration already, I can only imagine what it will be like once he’s here!! I got to spend this whole weekend with my girls.  Starting on Thursday, and I was in girlfriend heaven!!  But, Saturday was Marie, Marc’s and Cash’s day, and we were all so glad to spend it with and for them. The weather was perfect, Yountville, right above Napa, is always beautiful.  The turn out was fantastic, oh and all of my girls looked drop dead gorgeous.

Now, get ready for the picture parade…WARNING….it’s like my camera threw up all over the place….we had a great time, Welcome to the World lil’ Cash.  What a lucky little boy.

Love her.

Mama-to-be-Marie

Face painting, big hit with Lex.

 

Good shot.

Two of my besties.

What a great group of girls!! We love you Marie.

Five o'clock somewhere

A drive up through the mountains, $30.00
Vendor tickets paid for on the streets for all day beer tasting: $80.00
Bell Pepper Sandwich for me: $4.00
Wild Boar Chili Fries for him: $4.50
Great time, with great people, and free entertainment along with some crazy bullshizzle: Priceless

Going to Boonville beer festival was a suggestion by my dad.  I have driven through there before, on my way to Fort Bragg, but I've never stopped.  Honestly didn't think there would be as many people as there were, but with a necklace around my neck with a mini pilsner mug in place, we were set to go.  It's an awesome festival, on a great piece of land, big enough to have 70+ breweries there.  Plenty of entertainment, people dressed in costumes, birthdays being celebrated, and old men falling asleep standing up.  Camping was a treat, campfires, chit chatting, tents ;)--  Sleeping, however was not part of the agenda apparently, but I still enjoyed myself.

And, of course with good company, anything, (even with the most annoying situations)....is a good time. 

End of the day...

Bracelet power

Friends
5.8.2010

Fun in a camping chair.

me + shorts

smiles

Boonville Fair Grounds aka the campsite

Hey Soul Sister

Remember when you were little, and you found a toy, and you loved it, and you thought in your mind, "My prayers have been answered, this toy is meant for me, and without this toy, my life would be a little lonelier".

I remember feeling that way about my hot pink Barbie CORVETTE, which, by the way, now I think are disgusting (real corvettes) and meant only for men wearing cut off jeans, and tank tops, sporting either a mullet, or a buzz cut.  Either way....gross.  Anyway, when my mom got me that Barbie Corvette, my Barbies were set.  They were so cool.  And, one day, my little imaginative mind took the barbies in their corvette to the mud bath, that I made on the side of my parents' house; where they stayed for a week, until my mom decided that I had outgrown my Barbies, and took them to the salvation army....that is after my brother had found them, and gave them all disgusting buzz cut hair cuts...see Corvette=Buzz Cut. Yuck.

I digress, my point of this post is that I have great friends, every where really.  I have friends spanning from California, all across the United States, to as far away as Germany. But, here in Napa, I have been blessed to find great friends mostly through Trisha, who I've mentioned here, and here, and also reaching out on my own, which at times can be scary and weeding out the really not so nice friends.  But, I have met my match when it comes down to it.  Alexis, is seriously, in all honesty the most amazing person I've met in a really long time, and without a doubt I feel really super lucky to have met her.  She has all of her friends' best interest in mind, she cracks me up with her wit, and she's a runner...like me, and could talk on and on about it. She wants to name her first daughter Charlotte....and so do I...isn't that shit random?!!! Both for different reasons...but still....that's crazy.  She's single, and knows what it feels like to be single and hating it, and single and loving it...which is the stage I am in right now.

I helped her move her mattress yesterday....oh....that was fun....no, it really wasn't fun at all...it was awful, and I was wearing a dress and the wind was blowing at least 100 MPH and I was shivering from head to toe.  Never AGAIN AL...NEVER FREAKIN' AGAIN...GOT IT?! I sat, in my stubbornness, at one point in her parent's suburban, eating my nuts I had just purchased from Costco...thank you very much!!!!  But whatever, after we  got it to her house, TWO hours later....that was an adventure in itself, I was starving, so we stopped and got some pizza with veggies, no cheese, and some beer, and pulled out the mattress and had an improv tailgate party on the street, sitting on a mattress....classy?  I'd say so.

Whatever it is we are doing, I have fun, and I thank my lucky stars, that I have been so blessed to find the friends I have down here, they are my back bone, when some days I would just like to give up, and go away, without the friends I've made down here, I'd be lonely, and really, who wants to be lonely?

Baseball

They throw the ball, I hit it; they hit the ball, I catch it.~ Willie Mays San Francisco Giants

 I was 11 years old at my first Giants baseball game.  Good old Candlestick--I remember that game because, lucky me I got a Giant's Troll.  Remember those things?!  Some had creepy jewels in their belly buttons, some had different clothes.  Mine, my Giants Troll had a Giants Jersey, with bright Orange hair!  I also remember that game because that was the game that Robby Thompson got beamed in the face with a fast pitch, and it knocked him out.  Not cool Padres, not cool.  

 Star Spangled Banner

I played softball from 5th grade until 8th grade, and I liked it, I liked the cheering part most..."when I say go-you say fight. GO. Fight." the teams I played for were "The Blasters"...serious, LAME.  And the Tigers...better, best team I played for.  But, I liked my other choices better.  So, I stopped, and started cheering for football and playing volleyball instead.  But, my junior year of high school, I asked my weight training coach if I could be his stat girl for baseball for that year, and the next.  He happily accepted.  And I was super excited, I got to hang out with a bunch of dudes, travel on a bus, and watch a game I liked watching a lot more than playing.  This is where I learned the game, and learned that I got really worked up, and excited about strike outs and RBI's.  I kept track of RBA's.  I was the girl that the players would go to afterward to see their stats.  I learned that sunflower seeds can dehydrate the shit out of you, and oh yes....wear sunscreen on a warm March day, during a Double Header up in Mt. Shasta.  

 She loves me

 Me and the Girlies

I love the whole aspect of baseball.  I don't love that the baseball pants have turned into a more expensive version of sweatpants. I wish they'd bring back the old school pants. I guarantee the female fan spectrum would widen.  

 Me and Martha!!

Once I moved down to Napa, I was excited for how close I was to the AT&T Park!  And since I've lived here, I've been able to attend more games than if I hadn't ever moved here.  And every time, it's a good time had by all.  Today was Opening Day for the Giants and it was A-Frickin-Mazing.  With my friend Martha, we took the Ferry over, and on the way, saw a freaking whale-well, the side of it's tail, but still.  It made my whole day.  Once we got to the Ferry Building you could feel how excited everyone was for today, being that the Giants were already 3-0, fans were pumped.   But, I swear if I had heard "I need extra tickets, anyone got any extra tickets", I was gonna go ape shit.  It was off the hook across from the park, and we went to Pete's Tavern to get a little tasty beverage--already I was having a crazy, crazy time!  And,  I am a freaking expert at getting free drinks, don't ask, I won't give out my secrets.  It was 12 noon, and I was already good to go, and when I say good to go....I mean I was drunk.  I'd been to opening day 2 years ago, but it was a different life then for me, today was definitely more fun.

 AT&T Ball Park

Once we were in the park, I was in baseball heaven.  Sun, Ocean, Beer, the sound of the bat smacking the ball, the sound of the *de der de der.....Chaaaarge**, my vegan cookie, friends on both arms, and boys...boys....BOYS.  Me, likey.  And I was brought back to when I was a little girl, brought back to when I played ball myself, and brought back to when I used to keep stats for my high school team.  And, it didn't take long for me to be on my feet cheering, booing, clapping, and screaming oh and laughing when the coach for the Atlanta Braves got kicked out of the game.  That shit is hilarious. 

I had such a fun time, with fun company and a great game that I was sure we were about to lose, but then, bam...4 extra innings in....base hit, and we scored. You can't deny that the fans for the Giants are definitely in love with our team, and our players--and we take pride in them. The 2010 Giants are gonna be a special treat for us.  I can't wait to go back in a couple of weeks.  Plus, by then Tim Lincecum will have been back at it, and I'll be a happy girl.

 When you see this face, you know I'm feeling good.

Get on your feet; Let's Go Giants.

  

Lifestyle Change

For two weeks, I rode my bike nearly everyday in the morning, or the afternoon.  The longest ride I went on was a 21 mile ride.  I did something that would make me feel better about everything.  And just that mere change in my daily activity, proved to be positive.  So, last week during my visit in D.C., my friend Shannon has introduced a lifestyle change, that I found inspiring.  She had read The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone.  I knew that Alicia Silverstone is Vegan, but it was interesting to read why, and other great benefits of a plant based diet.  So, while I was there, I tried to follow a Vegan diet, as much as I could.

  And was able to sustain it.  So, coming home yesterday was my challenge.  I walked to the grocery store right down from where I live, and set out to find dinner and breakfast for myself.  And after reading some labels, and choosing wisely, I had each meal planned out for the next 24 hours.

I can't believe how easy it seems, and actually how tasty the food is so far.  Last night, I had Quinoa, with raw bell peppers, imitation fish, brussel sprouts, and green beans.  And to drink I had straight up tangerine juice.  I was satisfied, and pleased.

I won't lie, cause a lot of things I am used to eating seem so tasty, such as cheese, and I love Salami, but I want my body to be strong, and healthy. At least I can still drink wine!!! That part isn't out!  Horray. And I want to try to make a difference in my world.  I'm hoping I can sustain this--I know the benefits are huge.

Wish me luck.

Commitment

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”~ Carrie Bradshaw

Do you have those moments, either alone, or with a friend, in a conversation or just in silence; when you have an AHA moment?!  Oh...you do? That's good. Because I had one today, and got a little bit of confirmation of it while Marie and I were sitting eating lunch after our walk. And what's funny, and I don't mean "Har Har" funny I mean....what's ironic is the "Aha" moment came after I was telling her about how I can't easily commit to a dining room decoration.  I mean seriously! A dining room set up?! 

Me: I will seriously be in the store with a basket full of things, be happy with my decision and then I turn around and see another idea, and question everything.
Marie:Ummmm...Kerry it sounds like you have a problem with committing!!
Me: Maybe that's my problem with men too. In the past, I've been happy with what I've got, and then something makes me question everything about the whole situation.
Marie:That is if you can commit to a blog.
Me:I have for almost a year. So, maybe things are looking up.

But, in all honesty.  I have a hard time committing, because maybe I feel a little bit like I'm settling--too soon.  Amy at A Matter Of Opinion, made me think about my crazy thoughts and think to myself "Kerry, stop acting so crazy, it's okay to not have the most popular or the most expensive, it's what you like, and this is a time in your life when you can do it all, and not have to answer for it." Thank you self.

I know I don't have a phobia of committing, it's just that maybe I, too often question myself.  I worry about getting hurt.  I worry--way to fucking much. About everything. My mind hates me.   And then, it just takes the fun right out of it all.  Up until last June, I couldn't even commit to a cell phone company.  So lame. 

This is the "Aha" moment I was talking about, realizing something has to change, or else I'll be a lonely woman, with no dining room decorations....and a blog.

Hardest Thing I've Learned

"Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go.”

~ The Wonder Years~

If there is one thing I have learned for sure about myself these last few years, is I have a hard time with change.  Especially when it comes to change that I have no control over.  Remember when we were kids, and all our life consisted every year of change.  It's like we never even had a clue.  Friends would come and go.  Our classes would be different.  We'd split up with our "Boyfriends", we'd get new teachers.  I was lucky enough in my childhood to live in the same town, live in the same house since I was 3, and for the most part have the same closest friends.  In fact, I am still friends with someone who I have been friends with since I was 4 at Kindergarten.  She was the first sleep over I ever had.  She is all grown up now, and has 2 lil munchkins, but she'll always be a part of my life. 

My biggest change was probably when my parents got a divorce.  I was 10.  And my mom left for a while.  I liked the change a little because my dad would let me have sleep overs on school nights, because he thought it'd be healthy for me.  But, I remember when they first split up, how devastated I was.  I remember thinking; that my mom would no longer be my mom, or my cousins wouldn't be mine anymore.  But, as time went on I grew accustomed to this change, and now, I wouldn't know life any other way. 


In the most recent years, the biggest changes have taken  place in my life.  I got divorced, I moved out of my hometown, I've made my own little family down here.  I said goodbye to 3 great kids, who once in a while will catch me off guard, and I'll miss them even more than I thought I ever would.  But, like I always do, I bounce back stronger, and better prepared for the future.  Or do I?  

Right now, I am going through a change....one of my closest friends is getting ready to take one of the biggest journeys of their life, and starting a career path that I can only be happy for.  But, there is a huge gap in my life without them.  And, without them on some days I feel lost, and lonely.  And wonder, will they miss me half as much as I will miss them.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I am not afraid to show anyone...my feelings, or my emotions.  But, with this person, I am forever grateful for being one of my closest friends, during some of my hardest times.  They are like a family member to me, and for that I am lucky.  

Some days, I will be fine, and without warning, I will think of all the changes ahead, and just burst into tears. I think the hardest thing I have learned is that while change for the most part is good for us, both physically, emotionally and mentally....it is also one of the hardest things to go through, even if you think you are ready for it.  Sometimes it will just hit me like a ton of bricks.

Maybe as an adult it's harder to adapt to change, because it makes you realize just how out of our hands some things can be.  It's a scary thought.  But, for all of the memories that I have, and the ones that I am sure to come,  I am grateful.  I know that I will be okay, I always am.  It's just a hard thing sometimes realizing you're human, and really...things will happen the way they happen, and you can only control them so far, until you have to just go with the flow. 

Spring Has Sprung

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold:  when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.  ~Charles Dickens

I had a nice break from working these last few days. I had 5 days off, after working over 70 hours. AHHHH.

I got to do something great every day.  Yesterday, it was in the 70's here. So, I called my friend Marie, and asked her if she'd like to take her pups to the dog park in Napa.  I love the dog park here, she was down, so, we decided to go.  We walked the outer trails of the park.  Gosh, I live in a beautiful valley.  When the skies are clear, you can see the vineyards stretching for miles.  We talked about her baby that is due in the summer, we talked about my new goal for this year coming up....Help Exchange.  I am so excited to do this.  And then....ka blam. She falls.  OMG the last thing I need...is a pregnant girl walking with me and falling.  But she got up....un-scathed! PHEW!  Our walk was over in an hour and a half, so I called my friend Brenna, and decided to go enjoy the rest of the day with her.  I love her honesty.  She reminds me a lot of...well...me, un-filtered, tell it like it is; deal with it sort of attitude. We were sweating from our hike, and starting to burn, but I'm glad I got to make up lost time with old friends.

I have never wanted spring and summer to be here so badly.  Usually, I love winter and fall.  But for some reason this year, I am ready for the warmth, the clothes of summer, the salads, the cool breeze at night.  I love all of it in the valley.  I can't wait to get to lay out by my pool like I did today reading my book, enjoying my silent time.  I'm encouraged that this summer will be great, and that Spring is a renewal to it all.

It's MONDAY

It's Monday!! You know what that means in KerryLAND.....Laundry. Um, laundry...2 loads and after work that is.  I am working a few extra shifts this week, to bring my total working hours to a nice 67 this week alone.  YES!

You know what it also means?  That while my laundry is being tumbled, and agitated, and spun and rinsed.....I get to write and blog my little heart out.

I've had quite a day. And while I try to keep my mind busy, and my thoughts positive, I can't help but think of my good, good friend Trisha.  I got a text at 4 AM this morning, saying she is in the hospital with complications in the pregnancy.  We texted back and forth for a about an hour, but I couldn't help but think of how useless I was just sitting up in my bed, wanting so badly to be there for her. I know that she was surrounded by her parents, and Jameson, and I'm glad for that.  I know that we can't stop what may or may not happen, and as soon as a negative thought comes into my brain, I shoo it away with good thoughts for her, and her baby, and her body, and for Jameson.  It's moments like this where I definitely do start doubting anything that is higher than us....and while right now I may be cynical, it just makes me think "Really....I mean...really?! What kind of higher power would give a woman a baby for 5 months, allow it to grow, and gestate, just to possibly, have to let it all go?!"  I just can't think that I'd want to be a part of any of that belief system.  The whole...everything happens for a reason speech just isn't cutting it for me today.  Because I don't believe that something like this should be happening to somebody so great.  Frankly....it's bullshit.  And today, I realized that all the petty nonsense that I've been droning on and on about...is really nothing in comparison. 

It's just a big fat reality check.

Ughh...I know that is just an opinion, and a negative one at that....and in this moment, I'm sad, and frustrated.  But I just want this to turn out okay. 

Trisha....I love you.   And I wish for you, nothing but happiness.

Happiness is.......

* being woken up in the early morning, by Scouts desire for attention. (Just like me)

* hearing my best friends voice from hundreds of miles away.

* the feeling of sand between my toes.

* watching re-runs over and over again of "Sex and the City".......and the Movie...and nowww the Sequel!!

* getting knocks on my door by friends to visit.

* a nice, long, warm bath.

* goodnight kisses.