if you’re asking for advice…..don’t

A few days ago, a friend asked for advice regarding a boy…..ugh.  My friendship with her, is relatively new, but all the same, we have already told each other our good, bad and uglies of our relationships; past & present.  We have opened up to the most delicate parts of our dating experiences and our most serious relationships.  We feel comfortable being able to do that.  Every girl needs girls they can talk to openly about these things.  But, the other day she texted me asking for advice about a guy that I don’t know much about.

In the past, I might have said the things that we all like to hear, the ooey, gooey stuff that makes us think good thoughts.  By all means there is nothing wrong with this….we all like to be reassured from time to time, but I told her exactly what I would have done in the situation.  Forgetting that we are two different people, forgetting we both have different pasts, and different views on how we approach dating. 

Up until last summer, I was relatively new to the whole “dating” scene.  I didn’t get the whole “don’t call too much or text”, “let him text you first”, “don’t be too available”, but I want to be available…What the H?!  I like dating, and I like boys, and I get the whole don’t seem needy, but I mean, where is the line drawn….meh….anyway.  My friend asked for advice, and I laid it out like how I would deal with it, if it were me.  And then….<thunder rolling> she got upset.  And then I got upset, cause I thought in my mind….”Why is she asking….this is advice isn’t it?” I tried to insert foot into mouth, but my legs were sore from bike riding and lunges, so I couldn’t do that, so instead I pouted.  I apologized for seeming blunt and seeming not encouraging, because that is the last thing I want to be. I want all of my friends to be happy, in or out of a relationship.  Maybe I’m that friend who you only go to for advice when what you’ve already come to grips with is so obvious but you want that reassurance that what you are feeling is real and true.  Maybe I’m not that friend you go to for advice when in the beginning of any sort of date-venture you start letting your mind get going with thoughts and assumptions. 

But, I am a friend all the same, and I will be here for you to cheer you on, in any decision you make.