being single

 I restore myself when I'm alone.~ Marilyn Monroe

This is the longest I've ever been single, in my whole adult life. Wait....no actually, in my whole life. Even as a kid, and as a teenager, I had boyfriends.  Ask my parents, and I even had Aaron as a boyfriend in Kindergarten.   I love, LOVE.  I love the feeling of it, the excitement of new love, I love having a companion and someone to share my life with. To call in the middle of the day, to just say hello.   Although, I am not ready to settle down yet, I still miss the feeling of being a part of a real couple.

But, in some instances, you can be lonelier in the wrong relationship, than you can ever be when you are single.  I have been in that situation.  I have to admit, that being single is one of the most self-discovering times of my life.  And one of the things that I love about being single, is all of the possibilities that I get to explore.

I have too many friends right now, that are in the wrong relationships, and either don't want to get out of it for lack of companionship with another man, they think there is no one else out there for them, or because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings, all the while forgetting about themselves in the process. 

But, I also have friends....Thank you Dilla and Johnnie..who gave up on love, stopped the search, and now have found a man of their dreams, who treats them right, who carries on conversations about life moving forward, together, and of a world that they both want to be a part of. 

This is my 100th post since starting this blog.  And since starting it I am still single, but loving it.  One of my goals...(sort of) when I started this blog was to find the man of my dreams within a year, and although it may or may not happen .....(I still have 5 months)  I'm enjoying my life being single.  I've got the freedom, that until now I never had.  I've dominated my own home, taking care of myself, and bills.  I feel happier than I've felt in my most recent years.

I am a single girl, and in the words of Imogene Lloyd Webber "A single girl is undoubtedly in possession of a good fortune, as she has the freedom to lead the life she wants".

Ways to Live Like Kerry......

Not because I'm narcissistic, because I'm not....this is my second form of therapy, in writing, and besides, my therapist, says its good to write, to see where you are in life....GASP....**Whisper*** she said THERAPIST!!!  Yes....yes...that is right. And you'll hear more about that....later.  Anyway,  I decided to write a quick list of ways you could live in a day in the life of me, Kerry Peck.  :)

*Always, always as often as you can, sing your words...for example....walk into a room, and say sing....HELLLOOOOOO!!!!!!!  I have done it always, especially after being a cheerleader for 2 years and cheering my words...all the time....HELLOOOOOOOOO......will always make everyone smile!!

*Love passionately.

*Remember where you came from, and don't try to be who you aren't, it doesn't look good on you..

*Have celebrity crushes, and don't be ashamed to admit it.

*Ask questions

*Have an unhealthy obsession with your iPhone. If you don't have said iPhone...well then, you.are.missing.out!!! **sorry**

*Talk to your cat, or dog.  But it's healthy, I read it in a book....somewhere. ;-)

*Be amazing at cooking without recipes. Thanks mom and dad. xo

*Share

*Do not, NOT get into a line of "10 items or less", even if you have only 11 items....I was all the way to the front the other day at Nob Hill....counted my items....12 items, and one of them was a pack of gum, I got out of said line...EMBARRASSING!!! HA.

*Take long runs, anywhere, everywhere, all the time...alone.

*Start a book...don't finish it.

*Do, DO have a set laundry day...mine=MONDAYS.

*Love, LOVE to write.

*Make yourself laugh...ALL THE TIME!!!

*Don't be afraid to cry

*Hate DIET soda!! GROSS.

*Be open, and honest about you, be proud of who you are, and what you've endured.

I don't mind being single, as long as I'm not alone.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy girl who'll decide where to go."
- Dr. Seuss

Don't let my title deceive you.  I am not a co-dependent, I don't need to be with somebody, just anybody, but what I mean by that, is that, I think when I was first single....I really found myself lost.  I had never been single before!  I found myself wondering what to do, thinking people who aren't single won't want to be friends with the single girl.  But in the last few months, I've really found solace in my friends, both coupled, and not.

I am running again, which is taking me to the Shamrockin' Half Marathon in West Sac. with my friend Rachael from Redding, and it is also taking me to San Francisco for the Bay to Breakers 7 miler with my other friend, we're pretty sure soul mates..AND neighbor Rach...both runners, both Rachaels!! The Rachael that lives here has really opened me up to a lot of things, we are planning a trip to Vegas in April, and we both LOVE musicals, something that I have never had in a friend before...oh Rachael..you've won my heart!

 Rachael number 2 and I in S.F.

I am finding things to volunteer for, I am going to start time for clearing trails at state parks for hikers in Marin, can't wait for that.  I am going to start horseback riding in March, and I'm visiting my family more. I'm listening to myself more, of what I need to be peaceful, and happy.

I don't mind being single, in fact, I like it. I live for me right now, and why shouldn't I?! But as long as I'm living....then I'm perfectly fine with where I am, single, but not alone, wanting, not needing, hopeful....not hopeless.