Ugh, can I just start out by saying I really do love my gym. I love how close it is to where I live, the coffee shop that I love, where I shop and where I work. I love that the people behind the counter know me. I love all of it. However, I will be the first to admit that gyms in general really can get on my nerves at times. Say what? A Gym can get on your nerves? Ok, wait…not gyms, the people in them. When I lived in Chico, CA. I would go to the gym at 6 AM just to avoid the weird habits of some people. So, it’s not just the gym I belong to here, I’m pretty sure it’s universal. In general I think most people don’t know what the fuck they are doing, and just improvise their workout to try to look bad ass. It isn’t working. Here are my few pet peeves of the people at the gym;
#1. The Old Man, Trying Not To Appear Old: This is the guy who will, without even a second though continue to lift the way he lifted weights 40 years ago. But, instead of lifting it looks like a.) He’s hurting himself, or b.)He’s humping the air. It’s not a good look.
#2. The Instructor Who Hates Instructing Newbies: Just 3 weeks ago this happened to me. I was taking a class…that apparently you need to take some sort of pledge for. She saw me and was like “Oh…I hate teaching…” No joke. Trying to be a good sport I was like “Don’t baby me, I’ll catch on.” And I did, but I mean…seriously? What if I wasn’t as cool as I am…that could have really pissed somebody off.
#3. The Show Off: Please!! We get it, you’re like so awesome. You can jump rope really fast, dead lift like 400 pounds, squat down to the ground, are you the bionic man? It would appear so…but, when you start doing hand stands against a pole for everybody to HAVE to watch, we know that really you just have no life!! Oh and this guy exists in my gym…I have pics below to prove it. What a db.
#4.The Work-Out A-Holic: You know this chick. The one who comes in the morning, and doesn’t leave till after lunchtime. She wants everybody to know she means business. She basically does a tri at the gym, bike, swim, run. Then maybe some weights….then maybe a yoga class. It makes me feel like my measly 90 minutes at the gym 5 days a week just aren’t cutting it!!
#5.The Thruster: It kind of goes with #1. but this guy is younger and knows better!! If you have to arch your back, or thrust to get your lift in…it’s not working. And you look like a pervert and nobody likes a pervert. We would rather see you lift like 20 pounds less, then you watch you thrust towards yourself in the mirror.
#6. The Grunter/The Loud Breather: I don’t need to elaborate. Grunting during lifting, not cute….Hey loud breather…take it down a notch. We know…you’re working hard. But, so am I..so why am I not letting the whole gym know about it? Cause I have manners. (By the way, this is seriously one reason I stopped going to a gym when I lived in Paradise.)
#7. The Sweat Box: Ew. We all sweat, this I know…but when you are sweating, like from every part of your body, please use the towel that is supplied to you. If I can see sweat drips all over the treadmill, it means you’re being lazy, and you are being a showoff.
#8. The “I Never Learned How to Share” Douche Bag: Hey buddy, I pay for a membership too!! So why do you get to take up like every bench for all of your different workouts? And when I ask if you are using that…you don’t have to be an asshole about it.
#9. The Nudist: I don’t mind being naked. In fact—I LOVE it. HAHA, but I know what is appropriate in a public gym!! Get in, get un-dressed, get re-dressed, get out. Maybe it comes with age, maybe not, but I’m pretty much sick…SICK of seeing these old ladies sitting on the bench…NAKED putting lotion on, standing up to bend down…NAKED to put lotion on, and then walking over to the sink to rinse off their hands. All of this takes like 10 minutes. I hate it. Put a towel on, or like some panties. It’s weird, and frankly makes me concerned for what lies ahead of me in the future!!!!
I could think of a million others….but I think just from this list, I seem pretty high-strung, which I try not to be. Here are my pics I was talking about from #3. The Show Off.
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