The Elephant in the Room

Oh yes...it's always fun isn't it?  Pretending as though something isn't there, when really, it's there, and it's huge and it's Un-fucking-comfortable.  Well, that happened last night. A Giant ASS elephant sitting right there, in the middle of the room.  At the Oxbow Wine Bar, I saw my old ex-friend.  Well, wait, I didn't but the person that I was with did, and I saw her and her husband, whom after last night I am sure has lost his balls, and they're hanging somewhere around his wife's neck. Anyway, the person I was with, decided to go over and say hi against my better judgement, I however, did not. And it was not a pretty thing afterward, and its been bothering me.

You see, I have made myself vulnerable too many times, opened myself up because, well, that's what friends do.  I do it, so that the people I am engaging with feel comfortable to do the same.  I do it at the risk of people thinking differently, but all of our life stories have made each and every one of us who we are up until that moment.  How can you truly be a good, true, friend if you are holding back ALL of the time.  I agree, you sort of have to put your toes in feel out that friend, and if you feel that, in fact they are worthy of knowing more about you then just anyone else...you begin to open up more and more.  And that's what I did, and she was a good friend at first, there for me during really sad times, we have the same sense of humor, which is the best sense of humor you could have.  But then things were not all sunshines and rainbows, and she stopped talking to me, truth be told, I spoke up for myself...whoops, guess you can't do that with a friend.  At least not that friend. 

But life went on, and 3 months later I hadn't really thought twice about her.  Because this is how I am.--  I am a good friend.  A loyal friend, an honest friend, I'll do a lot, put up with a lot, see you through a lot.  I will listen, as much as I will talk. I don't ask for much in return.  But completely disregard those things, talk shit...and I find out....I throw my hands up and I'll walk away.  It's not a great trait of mine, but it's easy for me to just walk away. It's always been that way. You no longer exist in my world.  I will no longer extend my energy towards that sort of a relationship.  I don't wish ill on you, but you aren't a part of my life anymore.

But seriously, these people were such bitches last night, it was sorta creepy, and really rude.  So, we ended up leaving, but if/when I should see those people again, it may be uncomfortable for a moment, but after thinking about it last night, I think what they did was cowardly, and immature and what my friend did was the right thing.  He's a better person than I am, that I am sure of, another lesson I've learned from him. But, I'm still me, and if you ask me what I really wanted to do; I'd answer with my middle finger.