It's Story Time

When I was still young, and believed in such things as the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, holidays were magical to me.  So, I couldn't wait on Easter knowing I'd get a basket full of candy goodness, and some sort of useless wonderful toy, I could stare at for the day, then be tossed aside.

I love when my mom tells me this story, I die laughing every time.  So, I decided for my parents sake, and for my memory I'd write it down, so that I can remember it myself.  I sort of remember this vaguely, but my mom clearly remembers the ugliness of it all.  Enjoy:

One year, I think I was in 2nd grade, my brother and I wake up and we are searching for our baskets, that would be filled with cadbury eggs, and hollowed chocolate bunnies, a gazillion jelly beans, of which I only ate the red and pink ones.  Keep in mind that on days like this, I think that children are automatically programmed to wake up at like, 6 AM and not fall back asleep.  SO, we're searching, and searching....and find NOTHING. No silly basket...where did that sneaky son of a bitch bunny hide our baskets!!!!   When my parents rose from their slumber, they say --those must be them...."those....those BACKPACKS?"  To which I'm sure my mom replied "Yes."  And, I, the princess goes over to the BACKPACKS and says to my parents "Backpacks?!  Backpacks?  The Easter Bunny wouldn't bring us a backpack!!! You did this!!!"   It had See's Candies in them, and some other things, but I was still acting like a spoiled little brat. 

 I love when my mom imitates my voice, it's really one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my whole life.  I was pissed apparentley and was really dissappointed that I hadn't recieved something like what I knew all of my friends were getting that morning.  But, I kept that backpack for a long time, used it more than I would have ever used a stuffed rabbit, or some bouncy ball that I'd be sure to lose over the fence or down the street at one of my friends' house. 

Now, as an adult, I go to Target or CVS and see these cheapy baskets, generic, and full of stupid candy.  How a parent, forgetting that it's Easter, can go pick out a basket and it's no big deal, and it's generic, and lame. I think back at how my mom probably was thinking how useful this would be, and I was just a big bratty baby.  But, when you're a kid, you just are thinking about that moment. 

If I had a child or ever have one, I'll probably have an episode like this, where I put a lot of thought into a gift, and thoughtlessly my child will throw a fit, and I'll try to understand, but years later, I hope that they'll see how much fun it is to hear me re-tell the story, like I do when both of my parents do. 

True Story

Nate the Mechanic:  Okay, here's what you're gonna do...you're gonna go to said car dealership and you're gonna tell him we're related (never mind that he is at least 20 years older than me) and you're gonna tell the car salesman  you're my half sister. He's gonna give you a deal on a new car.

Me: Um....what if he asks questions...what do I say....??!

NTM: He won't...why would he....he won't, just trust me.

He fucking asked questions.

You know, my mom is a special lady, I love her so much.  And last week she really became my saving grace once again.  Anyway, two weeks ago my car was giving me a boat load of problems, so I took it to a mechanic, and he looks at it and says: blah blah blah $2,000.00, blah, blah, blah. What?  Um....all I heard was I am gonna pay an ass load of money.  So, I call my mom, and tell her, and she's stressing out...which makes me freak out cause I don't know how to control the situation...which also causes me to head to the nearest store and buy a case of beer. So, I ask the mechanic..."Mr. Mechanic man...what would you say if I wanted to trade this vehicle in....?" He said that probably would be a good idea, and that he knew some people.

A few days later, I was in San Francsico, and I call him, and he tells me that he talked to car salesman guy, and that he told him that I am his half sister....reference above dialogue.  So, I call my mom, we devise a plan, and my mom comes the next day.  Keep in mind that my mom has mom brain like most moms...."Kerry he's gonna know we are bullshitting him."  In which I say "Mom...he just wants to make a sale! He won't care if I was this guys second cousin....it'll work."  It.Didn't.Work.  I mean...the guy didn't call me or my mom out...but I think the fact that I kept changing the subject every time he asked a question about my "half-brother" and where I am from originally, may have given it away...or when he asked a question about something, my mom would graciously be like "Oh what does this do."....I laugh now thinking about it all.

Truth be told, I wasn't sold on any of the crap they had at this GIGANTIC car dealership.  We test drove a couple of cars, but I was like "Meh."  When we sat down to talk deals...he was like..."Oh can I see your iPhone...I wanna see if it rattles inside..." he was over it, and so were we...now how do we get out of here.  I turned to my mom, and said "Mom...I'm ravenous, lets go eat and talk about this whole situation." *laughing to myself right now* so we go and eat a a taco truck DELICIOUS and chat a little bit, and decide now isn't the time to get a new car, especially if this guy kept asking questions...it was getting uncomfortable.  So we head home.

My mom went home, and life went on....until I get this email from my mom tonight which made me laugh out loud, and also remind me as to why my mom effing rocks.  Take a gander at the humor, that is my mother:

Hi Kerry, It's hard to believe that only a week ago we were embarrassing ourselves by lying to a car salesman.  I know he knew we were lying and wouldn't deal with us when I asked where the soda machine was and he pointed.  People who know there's a deal buy the soda.  Love, Mom

Moral of the story: Listen to moms advice....mostly....not to a mechanics....oh and people who know there is a deal...buy the soda.  Oh mom..I love you.

California Coast

I am a California Native, most things to see in California, I've probably seen them.  Mostly in part to my parents who, on a whim, would throw me and my brother into the back seat of their car, and drive on day trips, weekend trips, and in May every year, a week trip.  I've driven up and down the California Coast Line dozens and dozens of times, I've camped in all parts of California, I've skiied on all of the mountains from Pinecrest to Tahoe, I've swam in the ocean as far North as Fort Bragg, down to the border of San Diego and Mexico, but I never get bored, and seeing the beautiful state I live in, never gets old.

Me on Hwy 1. Right above Ano Nuevo Beach.

A very cold, a very grumpy pelican!

 A seal swimming below me from the Pier.

This last weekend, I decided to bust out my new camera, get out of town and be all touristy.  I went to Santa Cruz, CA.  A town that I spent a lot of my youngest years in.  My cousins grew up in Boulder Creek I'd visit them for weeks at a time, and my parents had a beach house in  Aptos. A place where I have many photos, and video, and memories.  They even have a Cement Ship , docked off of Seacliff pier.  Before they closed it off to visitors, my brother and I used to walk around on this ship and see and hear the birds and the seals.  And just below Santa Cruz, is the small town of Capitola.  This whole region brings back many memories for me, as a child and as a teenager. 


The city of Santa Cruz is busy, but if you go down to the beaches, and especially at this time of the year, it's pretty empty, and I was lucky enough to have perfect weather for the trip.  The boardwalk was open, but I didn't get to go. The Giant Dipper was once a ride that I would ride on over and over with my dad.

The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk from the Pier.

It's also whale watching season, but it's rare to see a whale when you are on shore, that is what I found out through a local, although it isn't completely impossible.  There were surfers, and the biggest waves I've ever seen at the ocean in years.  I even got within 10 feet of an Elephant Seal just chilling on the beach. So big, and fat, and beautiful. What an experience. 

An Elephant Seal!

 Natural Bridges State Beach

I can't seem to get enough of how much beauty lies on the coast line.  And although I've been back over and over again, I still am in awe every time.

Mommy Dearest

So, if you're a daughter, whether you want to admit it or not, you have had a mother daughter fight once or twice in your lifetime.  Sometimes, if you're lucky they can be quick, and painless, and sometimes, they can be long, drawn out and ugly.  If you are lucky enough to be like me, you are the latter.

When I was in 6th grade, my parents got a divorce, and my mom moved back to the City, where she grew up in, where she felt she always belonged. She left my brother and myself in Paradise. But, truth be told I wanted nothing to do with her at that point...and I wasn't even thinking about moving to the city.   That's where she met her now ex-husband...he was a tool bag.  Anyway, right before 7th grade, my mom moved back, continued a long distance relationship with Paul, and my dad moved out.  I remember telling my mom..."I wish you weren't back, I hate you for coming back."  Not kind words, but when you are a kid, sometimes, you are either being honest, or just cruel.  I think I was being a little of both.

Eventually, we sustained a nice relationship, I was a good teenager, always followed the rules, always home when I was supposed to be.  But, that's because I made my own curfew...because she didn't.  (She'd end up paying for it later with Bryan).  And when I moved out, right at 18, she was mad at me for about 3 months.  We weren't speaking, and we only lived 1 mile from each other.  I was sad, but not scarred by it, and after 9/11 we started speaking again.  Later, I would find out she was just sad that I left so quickly, and didn't say goodbye.  We got closest during my engagement to my ex-husband, planning, and spending a lot of lost time together, I also worked for her during this time.  But, even on my wedding, we had gotten into a fight and she told me she wouldn't be coming to my wedding.  So be it..I had no control over her, she'd regret it later I thought.  But she came, and she looked really pretty, and she even cried, something I never thought would happen.

She helped me buy my business in Chico, and gave me advice with that.  She gave me advice on being married, and she overall, raised a good daughter.  But I know, being my mom wasn't an easy job either.  I'm not blind to that.

Through my divorce, she supported my choices, she let me have a place to stay, she gave me advice, and I love her for all of it.  And when I made a huge move to Napa, she was really happy for me, finally leaving a small community, seeking opportunity, and venturing into the unknown.  I love my mom, she has really always been my biggest cheerleader. And for that I'm grateful.

But these last couple of months, I really think she's lost her damn mind!! No..... I'm serious. And this last fight we had, I'm OVER IT!! My stubborn side has come out, and I'm not ready to back down.  Seriously...mom...what happened to you? And when did you turn so grouchy.  Yikes.  I could go on to tell you what the fight was about, but honestly...I don't even know..so I say WHATEVER.  So, until I've made up with her, I say keep the Hallmark moments coming, they keep me all warm and fuzzy inside.

You are your child's keeper
until she's mature enough to keep herself.


~ Laura Ramirez

homecookin'

Visits at my apartment are always delightful.  I love having people here, talking, drinking, listening to music, or watching a show.  But nothing...nothing is more delightful then a home cooked meal from my mom. I had her over last night, and she made her famous cheesy pasta, sunshine salad, and fresh garlic bread with a glass of red wine.  Perfectly...delicious.  Exactly what I needed.

Who loves Sushi? Edama (Me!!!)

New Years day proved to be a nice start to a great year.  Like I said I went to my dads, and was greeted at the door with a mmm.....mimosa!! Oh how I love champagne!  And, a little boost of vitamin C never hurt either.  Sat, visited, drank, I think they were trying to cure a hangover, I was just getting started on my drink in take for the night.  I planned a dinner with my mom, and my brothers girl friend, and so we met at the Rawbar in Chico.  Yum.  And my brother Bryan works there too.  I love anything Japanese, which my mom would look at me baffled if I say that to her now, because I used to A) be afraid of Miso soup...it moves...soup that moves is creepy, it used to be at least. And B) I used to gag at the thought of Sushi, but now I crave it pretty much every day, and I love Edamame. I loved my Spicy Tuna Roll, and ate Caviar for the first time...meh...whatever, what's the big deal?!
  I hadn't seen my mom in too long, and got to check out the boys at the Rawbar, but my brother totally bro-blocks me every time!! So maddening.  I had a good time, got home to my dads, and relaxed, watching my hero...Chelsea Handler!!  Happy New Year, now the fun starts.